I am here to bring you the latest in “what the fuck is Suzie so-and-so doing right now?” technology, Twitter. Here’s how the Twitter dudes describe their site: “A global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: What are you doing? Answer on your phone, IM, or right here on the web!”. So basically, this site fulfills people’s voyeur fantasies. Cool site, huh?!?!

Except that its asinine! If I want you to know what I’m doing, I’ll tell you, either in person or on the phone or whatever. If I want to know what you’re doing, I’ll ask you. Is there anyone out there pretentious enough to believe that the world gives a shit about what they’re doing? And do you really care? I’ll give some examples, to prove my point.

Here’s one of the last messages sent to the site, from some jagoff called “Suro”: “i’ve juts discovered that i had a pair of contact lents at home!! i’ve been waering glasses all these last 7 days xD”. What the FUCK is that garbage? I didn’t clean up his grammar just so you could see the sorts of mouth-breathers who use this thing. Here’s another gem! Someone else is “chewing on gum”.

Dasvedanya “raynerape”! What are you up to? “Едва се вдигам от леглото. Очите ми тежат, сякаш са от олово. Така е, щом до 3 часа стоя и говоря със Султанов за дизайн на комп. игри”

FASCINATING.

Finally, we have “Yvette”, who says: hvn’t had a headache for so long that i’ve forgot how it feels, WHY WHY WHY do u hv to remind me of it?!”

Oh Yvette, I know exactly what you mean.

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