OK, it was a couple of days ago when a friend and I decided to go to McDonald’s to get some food, I had just finished an exam, and was starving. We drove out to the McDonald’s, and it was around 12:30, and the store was going to close at 1 AM. But for some reason, the damn store closed early, and we were stuck outside, hungry and cold, I wasn’t loving it at all. But while we were standing outside the door, there was this guy came out of no where, and started asking us if the store was closed. This guy was hilarious, he started talking about his job, (he was a security worker at the hospital), and how he came over from Africa several years ago, and how he was really hungry after eating nothing all day long.
So the three of us decided to go to the drive through window, and ask the worker, why the hell they were closed early.
Now it wasn’t that they were on holiday times, because they posted the times right in front of us. But they just closed the store, for no real reason, the worker didn’t give us any reason at all, and he told us to go to the other window, and order.
We get to the other window, and we let the other guy order, cause he seemed hungrier, so he starts ordering, but while he was at the drive through window, he realizes that he didn’t know what to order, and that he hasn’t eaten at McDonald’s in a long while. So he tells us to order, and my friend goes up and starts ordering. But right after he said his first meal choice, the other guy realizes what he wanted, so he asked if he could order, and jumps back in to order…but when he finished his ordering, he realized that he forgot his wallet at home, and had to run back and get it. I was like WTF?
So before he left, he asked the both of us if we smoked the reefer, but we both declined, and then he ran off.
So my friend began to order, and when he was finished ordering, I was ready to order, but the lady slammed the window in my face…seriously, WTF? After she shut the window, she began taking orders from the cars behind us, and I was forced to move forward, and couldn’t order, anything. I was pretty damn angry, and hungry. We lined up behind the other car got the meal and left.
I was pretty disappointed at the McDonald’s rejection, it was like being jilted by a lover, it made me sad and morose, but this lasted for something like a second, when I realized that the reliable Burger King, which probably enjoys being second choice most of the time, was right across the street, so we got back in the car went to BK, and I got my meal…it was amazing.
So next time you can’t get into McDonald’s because they can’t tell time and close the damn store early, the drive through is always open, and they will probably take your harassment kindly.

http://www.dbfletcher.com/capstan/

So the other day I went to the cinema to see Casino Royale (which was a great movie but not the topic of this post) and just moments after getting my drink and popcorn, the answer to a life-long mystery came to me in a moment of clarity.

I’m sure others have figured this out too, but it’s not something that is to be discussed and remains a whisper amongst modern-day society. Taboo? Doubtful. Probably just not interesting enough for someone to talk about it. But I am not one to shy away from the uninteresting.

I am a very analytic person. I like to look at things. I like to understand how things work and why certain things are the way they are. One such slice of the delicious sensory pizza that is the world comes in the form of the fountain pop lid. At first glance it is merely a primitive device to prevent the spillage of contained liquid of choice. Yet, the more I think about it, I cannot comprehend the process by which it could have evolved into its current, optimized state.

The property to focus on is the small handful of hemispheres that indicate the contents of the cup. Taken individually, their design and purpose seem simple. If the bubble is associated with diet, then it would be depressed if the drink was diet. If it’s cola inside, then the cola bubble would be pushed in. Simple. Yet, when taken as a whole it seems illogical and absolutely absurd that there’s usually only three of them. Since it is given that at least one of those must be an indicator of diet or regular, that leaves two others to tell the tale of the taste. We all know there are more than two flavours of pop at any given concession stand.

Are they the two most popular flavours? Who gets to decide? Was there an evolutionary process by which it was whittled down to two? Such are the nonsensical questions I have asked myself over the years, having failed to answer any of them.

That wonderful night at the cinema led me to a profoundly simple conclusion. You see, regardless of it being a Coke or Pepsi product, the two flavours are almost invariably Cola and Root Beer. Since all other drinks (on a per brand basis) served from the fountain pop machine are of differing colours, one can simply visually discern the flavour of pop contained within. Only Cola and Root Beer pose a potential ambiguity through their common colour. Thus, they are the only ones that require the decisive domes.

Such emotionless powers of time and random variation could never have produced such a wonderfully perfect lid to marry the fountain cup.

Indeed, it had to have been intelligently designed.

Picking up from where I left off in my last post…

The competition went great and it was an incredible experience. I can’t describe how awesome it is to be among 1600 competitors from 70 countries all in one place. I guess that kinda goes along with being a world championship.

I competed in one division – Men’s Individual Kata. Kata is a performance of a karate routines. Fighting, or kumite as it’s called, is the other type of competition. This was the biggest division in the whole tournament with around 150 competitors. We were divided into four rings during eliminations and even then it took half a day to go through. The competition format for the elimination rounds was single elimination with 5 flags through simultaneous performance of a randomly chosen kata. So a pair of competitors would go up, the head judge randomly chooses one of four katas (Bassai-Dai, Kanku-Dai, Enpi, Jion), both competitors perform at the same time, then 5 judges vote for the winner with flags.

I had a bye the first round and was supposed to face a guy from Hungary for the second round. I was pretty confident I could beat the him but as I waited to be called, I saw my opponent get called up against a guy from Venezuela. They’d added a number of last-minute competitors so they squeezed in the Venezuelan guy ahead of me. This kinda threw a wrench in the plans as I wasn’t so sure I could beat him. I saw him training earlier before our division was called and he looked pretty solid. Looking at the draw sheet, I was sure that if I could just get past him I wouldn’t face very strong competition for the rest of the elimination rounds.

I wasn’t about to go back home having performed once and losing. I was pumped. I stood by the edge of the ring waiting to be called in, ready for battle. My heart was racing. I stared across the ring and stared at my opponent. A mere obstacle. They called us in and we bowed to each other before stepping into the ring. We turned to face the head judge. We walked to the centre of the stage. I was ready. The judge shuffled some cards then drew one and held it up. Bassai-Dai, it said. Bassai-Dai, we declared.

I became a spectator. My body was now moving on its own. It was automatic, as a heart beats without thought. I’ve trained this kata hundreds, if not thousands of times. My bread and butter for so many years in my younger days. I could see my opponent in my peripheral vision. He was a couple moves ahead of me. He was rushing. I maintained my pace. He probably spent most of his time training the flashier katas, preparing for the later rounds. He had neglected training the simpler, basic katas. He lost his balance.

Such a minor mistake yet so grave an error when you only have one chance. We were barely into our performances yet the writing was on the wall. All I had to do was finish without making a mistake. I took my time and it was over a mere minute later. We waited for the decision. But I already knew. The head judge blew his whistle. The flags snapped as the judges raised them decisively. I looked around. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five white flags. My opponent was red.

I later found out that the Venezuelan guy had faced me 9 years ago at the world championships in Italy. He beat me then. I guess this is payback. I asked him how he remembered…he told me he watches the tapes. Now that’s hardcore.

Having overcome the Venezuelan I continued on to soundly defeat a Kyrgyzstanian and a Slovenian both 5-0. I made it to the semi-finals where I was in one of two groups of 8 competitors. At this stage we were allowed to perform a kata of our choosing and we performed one at a time and were ranked by points. I performed one of my favourites, Gojushiho-Dai, and I was quite pleased with it. Alas my journey would end there as I barely missed the top 8 by 0.1 points.

My roommates now introduce me as Ninth.

I went to Japan just hoping I’d win at least the first round so I’m unsurprisingly very happy with my 9th place finish. Looking forward, the next world championships are in 3 years hosted in Greece. I better get training. And watch the tapes.

Today is December friends! I am really excited for December, like Jesse Spano on caffeine pills excited! My birthday is in December! Also, some other dude’s birthday is in December as well. But on his birthday, everyone gets presents!

December! I’m going to waste all my money on video games or something, and it’s going to be awesome.